Someone asked me the other day for one word to describe how I’m feeling about my life.
I cheated a bit and used two: excitedly overwhelmed.
My debut memoir, What Do I Tell My Daughter?, comes out in less than three months, on October 6. I am thrilled to finally be able to share my story with the world because I hope it will uplift and encourage other women. I hope they’ll feel validated in their own experiences; recognize themselves in my struggles to balance career and motherhood, loss of identity, and desire for more fulfillment.
Along with the excitement, my brain is on overload.
My central nervous system is so amped up with anticipation about everything I need to accomplish over the coming months, it almost incapacitates me. It certainly affects my sleep and without good sleep, I’m not the person I want to be.
Here’s the thing, I know better.
I know I have to stop pushing. I have to slow down, be present and breathe. This is perhaps a life lesson I still hope to master: how to prioritize when everything feels important.
Because everything does feel important.
There’s my work, supporting clients with their PR and communications strategies. There’s my family; spending quality time with my husband and son, and the Sunday night dinners we prepare for my aging parents. I have friendships I want to nurture because those women are my biggest source of strength right now. My writing feeds my soul; exercise burns off the anxiety and helps me sleep. I want time for yoga and meditation because both calm my mind and body, even though these also become one more task on my list. Oh, and our one-year-old puppy who deserves love, attention and a good walk.
And somewhere in all of that, I want to actually enjoy this beautiful, busy life and be the be version of myself.
Yep. It’s a lot.
Lately, I’ve been trying to ask myself, what matters most?
What’s the most pressing thing on that endless to-do list?
What will make my mind feel at ease and my heart happy?
Today, the answer was writing.
So, I skipped yoga. Instead, I rode my Peloton for a short workout, meditated for 10 minutes, and sat down to write. Yoga will still be there tomorrow and I’m committing to go.
I know I am not alone in putting an absurd amount of pressure on myself to do, and be so much all at once.
Life is busy. We want to show up for our work, our families, our friends, our health and ourselves. We want to do it all, and to do it all well. But we also need to be realistic.
Maybe instead of trying to do more we need to keep asking, what matters most? Focus on that. Give it our full attention.
Everything else will be there tomorrow and that’s when you’ll have another chance to choose again.
So today I’m wondering, what matters most to you? What will bring you the most peace or the most joy?
I hope that clarity allows you to breathe and feel empowered in the process.